His Bet
by BluAlbino
Summary: Elliot has a bet with The Todd, to see if he can go an entire day without any sex jokes. Crackish Oneshot


The Todd roamed the hallways of Sacred Heart, just waiting for a setup. _Maybe I should try the cafeteria, if I'm lucky it's kielbasa day. Inner five! _Todd wasn't lucky though, so he headed to the nurse's station and hid under the counter.

"Carla, I need your help." He heard Elliot whine. _Score! Girl on girl time!_

"What do you need?"

"My patient needs a special procedure done, and I don't know how to do it."

"I'll show you how to do it…" Todd jumped up and grinned.

"Can I watch?" _Yeah! Punch line five! _Carla scowled at him.

"How is that funny?"

"Because I'm implying that you two are going to have sex, and I want to watch." Carla shook her head.

"Ignore him Elliot." The blonde shook her head.

"No, Carla, not this time. Todd, I bet you couldn't go a whole day without making one sex joke." _This could get interesting…_

"Really? What'll you bet me?" Elliot gulped, then looked at Carla, who nodded.

"If, starting from right now, you can go twenty four hours without making any sex references… I'll sleep with you." She looked scared just saying it. _YES!! _

"Deal Five!" He said, holding up his hand. Elliot looked at it like it was covered in herpes, wich was very possible, and held up her own hand.

"C'mon Elliot," Carla said, after Todd crushed her hand. "I'll show you how to do that thing to your patient." Todd opened his mouth, then shut it fast. _This might be harder than I thought…_

_**Two hours into the bet…**_

"Is he shaking?" Elliot asked, as she watched The Todd walk around.

"I think so… look how out of focus his eyes are." Carla answered. They had already told most of the nurses and female doctors about the bet, and they were trying their hardest to get him to cave. JD stared at him from over Carla's shoulder.

"I've got to be kidding me. All that can't be just from not making any sex jokes."

"Oh yeah," Carla said. "Hey Todd! Penis!" He looked up, opened his mouth to say something, and seemed to swallow the words before he even said them. He turned around and walked down the hallway, dragging his feet.

"Wow…" JD said.

_**Four hours into the bet…**_

"I can't believe he's still going…" JD said, and a murmur of agreement went through the small crowd of people that were keeping tabs on Todd's progress.

"I'm scared," Elliot said, afraid that she really would have to sleep with him.

"He'll never make it…" Carla said, without much confidence. "Not if we pull out the 'big guns'…" She paused to see if he would say it, but he didn't. "Ladies!" Carla said to all the assembled nurses, giving them their cues. All of them reached under the counter and took out a banana. _Oh no… _

As a whole, the entire group peeled and bit into them, Todd whimpered.

"You don't play fair!" he said, then ran to the bathroom.

_**Six hours into the bet…**_

Todd laid down in the on call room, glad for a chance to get some sleep. _Just eighteen hours to go… I think. How much is twenty four minus six?_ As Todd tried to do the math, Turk and Carla snuck into the on call room and cuddled on the bunk underneath The Todd.

"Ohhh, baby that feels good…" Carla moaned. Turk grinned and muffled a laugh.

"I know how you like it…" he said in his sexiest voice.

"Yeah you do…" They tried their hardest not to giggle as The Todd made a moaning sound from above them.

'Its working,' Turk mouthed to Carla.

"Keep going! Faster!" Carla yelled, and they started bouncing up and down on the mattress, making the springs squeak. Todd jumped off the top bunk and ran out of the on call room. Carla and Turk burst out laughing.

_**Eight hours into the bet…**_

The Todd had diverted traffic in the hallway, everyone was going out of their way to avoid him, as he stood facing the wall, slamming his head into it over and over and over…

_**Ten hours into the bet…**_

Elliot, JD and Carla walked into the cafeteria and saw the uncomfortable crowd that had gathered around Todd, who was sitting alone at a table, humming songs from Annie and making a sculpture out of a large mound of mashed potatoes.

"It's a hard knock life for us…" he sang in a low voice. They all turned around and walked away.

_**Twelve hours into the bet…**_

After an hour of hiding in a closet, The Todd had finally gotten his second wind. He strutted down the hallway, past the Janitor trying to fix that mysterious dent in the wall.

"Did you do this?" the Janitor yelled. Todd turned, thinking he was talking to him, then saw that he was accusing JD. He turned around and kept walking.

"Todd!" A nurse said, walking up to him, and holding a box. "What should I do with this package?" She asked. Everyone in hearing range leaned forward expectantly. Todd took the box from her, and read the writing on the side.

"This goes down to accounting." He said, handing it back to her. Her mouth popped open, and he grinned. He walked over to Turk.

"Second wind five!" he said, and Turk fived him.

"You don't care if you ever have sex again, do you?" Carla asked her husband.

"Baby! You should be happy he hasn't said anything inappropriate all day." He whined. _The next few hours are going to be a piece of cake._

_**Fourteen hours into the bet…**_

Elliot was getting desperate, with good reason. She was determined not to sleep with The Todd. So she could justify what she was about to do. She walked up to him, pen in hand.

"Oops." Elliot said, and dropped it on the floor behind her, she turned around and leaned over slowly to get it. Todd, standing behind her and getting the full view, licked his lips. _Grab it, grab it, grab it… NO! Your future nookie depends on it!_ He turned around, and walked to the operating room.

_**Sixteen hours into the bet…**_

Todd pulled off his mask and washed his hands, fresh out of surgery. Dr Wen, who had just been told about the bet, was sharing the sink with him.

"You know, I'm proud of you for going this long without making any inappropriate comments. I'd be even more proud if you could keep it up." Todd ignored the obvious innuendo, and nodded. He walked off to take an after-surgery nap. Turk walked up to his attending.

"Did it work?"

"No."

Damn," Turk said. If he didn't make Todd cave soon, Carla was going to kill him.

_**Eighteen hours into the bet…**_

"Todd snores…" Elliot said.

"I know." JD said. They were hiding in the on call room, on the off chance that The Todd would say something in his sleep. So far, nothing.

"I am so screwed…" Elliot said hopelessly.

_**Twenty hours into the bet…**_

"Wow, Todd I can't believe you made it this long." Turk said.

"You must have stamina." Carla added. _Hell yeah I do! Inner five!_

"I guess so." He said. Turk and JD exchanged a look.

"BANANA HAMMOCK!" JD yelled. Todd blinked.

"Okay then…"

_**Twenty-three hours into the bet…**_

"Todd…" Elliot said. "I'm really amazed, you've completely turned around today."

"Thanks, Dr Reid." _I'd like to turn you around…_

"I mean," she continued, " if someone had told me yesterday that you would go almost a whole day without making any innuendoes-"

"In your en-do!" Todd said. "Oh no." Elliot's mouth popped open.

"OHMYGOD!" she screamed. "YES! IN YOUR FACE!" she ran down the hallway to tell Carla the good news.

"Worth it." Todd said, and headed home.

* * *

**This was just some weird little thing that got stuck in my head, and I couldn't write anything else while it was in there, so enjoy! Reveiws make me happy ;)**


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